How to Cope with Depression After Divorce
Even the end of an unhappy marriage can feel like a failure, and it’s not uncommon for people to experience a period of depression after divorce. For some, divorce feels like a tornado sweeping through a small town. It uproots and disrupts the natural order. In its wake, it leaves the landscape forever changed, destroying the familiar landmarks of our lives.
With so much change, it can sometimes feel like we don’t have any control over what comes next. That sense of powerlessness often leaves us feeling depressed. Luckily, there are ways to cope with those feelings and start fresh. While divorce may be the end of one story, it heralds the start of a new one as well.
Here are some ways to get started:
Acknowledge Your Feelings
With any healing process, the first step is understanding the wound. Give yourself time and space to process your feelings. It’s not unusual for people to feel grief after a divorce, and depression may be a part of that process for you. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are all common aspects of the grieving process. While these experiences are often painful, they also pave the way toward a new beginnings.
Consider a creative outlet for depressed thoughts and feelings—a journal, some poetry, or artwork. You don’t have to be Shakespeare or Matisse. Remind yourself that you can create. Give your feelings a voice, and you may find they grow quieter.
Get to Know Yourself Again
While marriage can be wonderful, it can also be easy for us to lose track of ourselves and our own identity. Who were you before you got married? Are there hobbies, friendships, or interests that got put on the back burner in exchange for nights on the couch watching tv?
Put together a list of things you’d like to explore. Give yourself room to experiment with new hobbies. This is an opportunity for you to feed your own passions, and give yourself the love you deserve.
Create New Routines
Because this is a period of intense, profound change, it’s also an opportunity to create new routines for yourself. This means that it’s a good time to put healthy habits in place, and keep an eye on any unhealthy ones that might pop up.
Limit Alcohol Intake
Eat a Balance Diet
Take Walks\Exercise
Connect with Nature
Get Some Sunlight
Depression is, at its core, both an emotional and chemical problem. Do your best to stay active. You don’t need to overthink it. Simply carve out a set time each day and go do something good for you when your alarm goes off.
Find a Support Group
Divorce is very common, and it isn’t something you have to go through alone. Whether you live in a big city or a smaller town, there are likely to be resources for the recently divorced.
Keep Things Simple
Depression makes it harder to focus and organize complex tasks. Set simple, realistic goals for yourself, and break large tasks up into smaller ones. As an example, don’t worry about cleaning the whole house, or even a whole room. Focus on one corner or surface at a time, then give yourself a break.
Next Steps
If you’re struggling to cope with depression after divorce, you aren’t alone. I work with clients all the time who are figuring out how to survive the changes in their lives. Part of a therapist’s job is to help connect their clients with tools and techniques that can help them dig themselves out of their funk.
Don’t hesitate to reach out if would like to schedule a consultation for life transitions counseling. I’d love to help you reclaim your identity and establish a new relationship with yourself.